Just a bit of fun

Some thoughts on a certain end-of-season football party and why it's about more than some ill-advised dress-ups.

I’ve debated writing about this, but it’s dominated my week. I can’t ignore it.

You may have heard about this.

In short: the male players of the GWS Giants football club celebrated the end of their season by dressing up and performing skits. The theme for this was “controversial couples”.

One player dressed as Jarryd Hayne, a former rugby league player sent to jail for sexual assault. This player also presented a skit: what we can only assume was a re-enactment of the crime, complete with taxi driver*.

Another pair dressed as the Twin Towers.

This all took place in a Sydney pub in a “private room” that was booked for the sole use of the team.

Earlier this week, a journalist broke the story: the AFL was looking into alleged inappropriate behaviour at a Giants end-of-season event. At that point the exact nature of the indiscretions was unknown. But given the AFL was looking at suspensions and hefty fines, many of us figured they could not have been tame.

“It was a private event!”, said the blokes on Twitter.

“The AFL is SO WOKE”, said some others.

“It was just a bit of fun”, said a few more.

“On the surface, if I was a GWS player being sanctioned, I’d be seeing you in court”, said a man who was once the coach of an AFLW team and now makes a living commentating on the women’s game.

(He later pointed out that he had begun that sentence with “On the surface” but by then it was far too late. Twitter is a merciless beast).

I spoke to my son about it. He’s a 21-year-old bloke. He’s played footy since he was 7. He’s played in senior teams.

He agreed the behaviour was pretty shit. It was unacceptable.

When I asked how this could have happened, he explained: there’s a social hierarchy in all teams. He was not excusing things, he was describing. If you’re a member of this team, you’re not going to pull people up, particularly if you are a junior member.

We spoke about the sanctions placed on senior members of team, even though they didn’t participate. They didn’t step in to stop it either. They didn’t step in when the idea of “controversial couples” was being floated, they didn’t step in when the stuff was happening. This is a big step for the AFL. They’re essentially calling out bystanding behaviour.

What I keep asking myself is: what kind of culture is being developed at 1 Olympic Boulevard? Where does this leave the women? As the club keep telling us, they are “one club”.

Given my experience with the Giants women’s team, my immediate thoughts were with them. They are working in this environment, where a bunch of guys think this is ok.

If you were at your Christmas party and this shit went down?

Or the women in the organisation had their Christmas party and the men had their own Christmas party and at that one someone dressed up as Jarryd Hayne and performed a skit that involved a blow up doll?

As a woman you’d be questioning your role in that organisation, because if jokes about sexual assault are acceptable, where does that leave me?

Does that bloke at the next desk in my open plan office think sexual assault isn’t serious?

Coincidentally I was scheduled to attend an event at the Giants HQ yesterday. A player partner event. Everyone who sponsors an individual player was invited to a brunch at the club. We were to enjoy some food, watch the team train, then have a Q & A with the head coach. We were to be presented with the match-worn guernseys that come with the player sponsorship.

I went along with my sister – another passionate Giants W supporter. Given what had been reported in the 48 hours prior, I figured this event might be fraught.

And it was.

Only one other player sponsor turned up.

We had something to eat, and then it was unclear what was going to happen. The women’s training was pushed back. Then it was pushed back further. I don’t mind sitting on the picnic benches that overlook the training ground and watching the girls train – I spent hours and hours doing this to render Never Surrender – it still feels familiar and comfortable.  But the girls had to train. They have a game on Saturday against a team who are currently sitting second on the ladder. The Giants have won one and drawn one game of the 8 they have played.

This has been one of their worst seasons. But there they were, working. The timing of their schedule at the mercy, as always, of the blokes side of the club. I saw this when I was there. The women fit around the men.

But they did what they needed to do. I saw Eva take a shot at goal, even though she didn’t need to and because they were moving on to another drill, and she pumped her fists. This is the Eva I remember from my time there. She expects a lot of herself. She expects a lot of her team mates. She celebrates small wins. She is a 1% player. Every. Thing. Counts.

And now Eva, Beeso, Parks, Pepa, Nic Barr, all those women who have worked their arses off, are at the mercy of a bunch of blokes who thought this shit was a good idea.

Because this club is about more than those blokes. The entire club is “in disgrace”. I didn’t wear my Giants cap on the dog walk this morning, because I was embarrassed.

 This episode could prompt sponsors to pull their money, because who wants their brand associated with that?

And if they pulled it from the women’s program, it would be through no fault of theirs.

Why do some people think this stuff is ok? Why do football teams need to do this? It’s obviously ok because a whole army of keyboard warriors have spent the past few days tracking down every dissenting view on social media and calling it out as “woke” and the fault of the female AFL administrator and if we didn’t have to have AFLW everything would be fine.

There’s also the line of argument that states that the Giants women would be nowhere if it were not for these men, so shut the fuck up bitches.

It’s only a problem, because the women found out.

It’s us. We’re the problem.

What saddens – and to be honest, enrages me – most about all this, is that we are pretty much where we were five years ago when I first thought about writing a book about the Giants women.

At that time, one of the key questions I asked was: why? Given everything they are up against – the trolls, the low pay, the disrespect, the physically demanding job piled on top of the day job – why do they keep doing it?

Because like the little boys running around in the park with a Sherrin, they too dreamed of playing football. It’s pretty simple.

What complicates it is that Australian football at the elite level is still underpinned by a level of sexism and misogyny that leads many to believe that it is not suitable that women should be playing. They should not be on the field and they certainly shouldn’t be paid. If they do dare venture in this arena, you can expect such “hijinks” as described this week, and a stream of abuse.

What this week has also shown us is that not only are football stars are given a licence to behave in their workplace in ways most of us are not, but that to even suggest that they’ve gone too far is considered the problem, not the behaviour. And most importantly and sadly, we have seen that joking about sexual assault, for some people, is still ok.

I’m going to leave the last word to this parent. I think many in the AFLW community feel like this right now.

* Jarryd Hayne was later acquitted of the charges.

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